the opposite of mean girls

Recently I watched a comedy sketch of a girl making fun of other BYU girls for getting married young after only knowing the guy for a few months. She was making fun of their enthusiasm for their new love and their stereotypical instagram captions, 

It really got under my skin, because if someone else wants to comment “2 months with MY GUY” is that really your problem AT ALL? No. Is it actually an invitation to make fun of them? Still no. Ladies and gents, you get to be you and I think that’s cool. So, can we let everyone else be them?

I’m a feminist. All my brothers are feminists. Everyone should be a feminist. Being a feminist simply means you believe women are just s important as men (not more important). I hate to break it to you, but if you’re not a feminist you’re sexist. And here’s the thing: feminism isn’t about telling all women that we should all be CEOs instead of homemakers. It is saying that you can choose to lead a company or a household (or both!) and both those options should be equally available and equally respected. One is NOT better than the other. So why do we act like it? 

“You don’t want to be a vsco girl cause that means you’re shallow, but you still need to make sure you keep up with fashion trends and make sure your photos have a healthy amount of contrast, or else you don’t look like you’re trying at all. But, you don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard because you want to retain the image of ‘i woke up like this’.”

“It’s important to have opinions, so that everyone knows you’re well informed, but don’t be too loud about your opinions, because you still want everyone to be comfortable”

“I’m so excited for when we’re grown up and married so that we don’t have to compete with each other anymore”

These are all actual conversations I’ve had. And I guess I’m just here to remind you that this isn’t a race, or a competition. Ladies and gents, you get to be you and I think that’s cool. I’ll support your law degree just as much as your skincare routine. 

It seems that we have fallen in LOVE with labeling girls. (please note: there is no such thing as a slut, just a girl doing her best, and maybe it’s not what you’re best looks like)

Wears patagonia and posts about national parks? BOOM granola girl. 

Owns a hydroflask and a fjallraven, while also being seriously talented at editing photos? Ew, what a vsco girl.

Wears black and understands the power of eyeliner? Ugh, its an e girl. 

Posts everyday, shares her skincare routine, shares uplifting thoughts? What is she trying to be, an influencer?

The list goes on. The bottom line is: whether they’re Kim Kardashian, Princess Diana or Mother Teresa, we need to respect women instead of giving into the internalized misogyny of insulting one woman to compliment another. On different days, I will be a vsco girl, a granola girl, a wanna be influencer and an e girl. Some days I research contouring and some days I research how to save the sea turtles. The truth is, I do me, you do you. I think you’re cool no matter what you do, cause it’s not my place to think otherwise.

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